It doesn’t matter what you’ve done…
what effect is without a cause?
so what does it matter what you think you’ve done?
now, lay your faithless head down
in necessity’s Cotton Hand
there’s a Love that never changes
no matter what you’ve done
or if your Old Man did you wrong,
maybe his Old Man did him wrong
so if you’d care to sing Forgiveness songs
come down and join our band
we’ll cut you like Sword
and sing Forgiveness songs
My father was one of four children; three boys and one girl. I later learned that all of the boys were alcoholics. My father would sometimes be gone for days. Occasionally, he would lose his job, resulting in my mother having to work. My father once left on a street corner for hours while he sat in a bar. I always thought it was my fault. In those days, people had difficulty in admitting their faults and would do their best to hide them. Therapy was definitely not “trendy” back then.
Father’s Day Challenge
The major challenge of adulthood is forgiving our parents. We often see our parents in others. Our parent’s traits are often recognized in our mates, our friends, our bosses and our children. Forgiving our parents is often the first step towards self-acceptance and maturity. Forgive your father this Father’s Day.Everyone has childhood wounds and no parent is perfect. In my case, my parents were teenagers when I was born and we all grew up together. My parents had no intentions of hurting us. They only knew the parenting skills of their parents, and it is not for us to judge. Sometimes my parents were selfish and so were we.
Year after year, I clung to hope that my father would someday love me. I discovered later that my father did love me but could not express it. I would often call my father and tell him I loved him only to hear dead silence on the other end of the phone. Then one day he said “I Love You” back to me. He had grown. Our expectations are what we need to forgive. Once I discovered this wisdom, I allowed my dad back into my heart.
The sooner we allow ourselves to have compassion and understanding for circumstances beyond our control, the sooner we can move forward with our lives. The forgiving place is the beginning and the reward is realizing there was never really anything to forgive.
