I used to daydream about Mom being in heaven and looking down on us.
I can remember when she was the World's Greatest Mom.
Your Mother, a tie that can't be broken.
I physically feel her as part of me, and the rest of the Blackburn's, and the entire genetic pool of Blackburns.
We were at Echo Park lake, 57 years ago, Mom was fashionably dressed, in those days women wore skirts to their ankles and blouses that kind of hid everything, she wore her long, dark brown hair swept up in a bun.
We were feeding ducks.
It was kind of scary because the ducks had no fear of 3 year olds, and they were pretty aggressive :-)
We were on the banks of the lake, a goose ran at me, I threw up my arms and splash! I was in the green murky waters.
I didn't really know what was happening.
I thrashed helplessly, my arms moving in slow motion, my three years passed before my eyes.
I can still see the distorted green haze, and objects and fish floating and swimming by.
"Mommy!" I cried silently as I swallowed the cold water and in my rigidity hurled me to the lake bottom.
Suddenly I was moving upwards, then everything went black.
I don't know how long it was, but I regained consciousness to Mom's cooing, "Michael, Michael, it will be alright, Mommy's here."
She was soaking wet, we were both wrapped in a thick blanket, we were in a boat, a a young man had his arms around both of us.
Now, I didn't know what love was then, but this young man was looking at Mom with what I could see was deep emotion.
I really think, looking back on it, he had fallen in love with her in the time it had taken to pull both of us from the water, and comfort us.
But Mom was centered on me.
I could feel the power of her love.
The day was grey, and foggy, but I was bathed in a warm glow of compassion, so strong I feel it right now, 57 years later....
